Last Level Press

Chats in the Dark: Microsoft

By: Cliff Davenport

Foreword:  This article marks the first in a series of brief, semi-satirical editorials which originated as Facebook commentary on the part of Mr. Black, a.k.a. Cliff Davenport, in response to notable news within the gaming industry.  At viewer suggestion, it’s been re-posted here at for the purposes of consolidation of lulz.  Note:  This was originally posted on May 30, 2013, prior to Microsoft’s now-recanted confirmation of its upcoming Xbox One policies, so forgive the dated nature of its commentary.

Microsoft Posts its Placeholder Price for the Xbox One and its Games

Microsoft...Microsoft. Sit down. We need to talk. No, no, you can prep for E3 later, but right now we need some sit-down time.  Microsoft, you're trying too hard. I see it in you day by day. You're trying to do all these things, trying to please everybody, and Micky (I know you hate that nickname, but this is family time), you can't make everybody happy. Nobody can, and that's okay.

You used to be such a star. You were ahead of the pack; everybody loved you, all the other companies wanted to be you. Whenever someone did something cool, you could stand there with no ego, and say, "I did that first." Now, look at you. You're digging your hole deeper every time you try to shore it up.

You're asking too much of yourself, and by relying so much upon the rest of us for your support, I have to break something painful to're asking too much of us as well. We want to see you succeed, but we can't support your choices lately. We're here for you whenever you change your tune, but if you keep going this way, we're going to have to cut you off. I'm sorry, Microsoft, but it needed to be said. I'm glad we had this talk.

And no, you can't have a dog.

-Mr. Black

( Really though, this placeholder price, even though it's not set in stone, is indicative of some grim times in Microsoft's fiscal future. )

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